Stop me if you've heard this before — the Dallas Cowboys came up short.
The Eagles outlasted the Cowboys, winning 28-23 to put a stranglehold on the NFC East and hold Dallas once again.
Sunday was a veritable buffet of football goodness, the best slate of the NFL season so far. But a delectable Chiefs-Dolphins morning in Germany and a wild RedZone Witching Hour proved little more than an amuse-bouche to the main course awaiting in Philadelphia. The fourth quarter finish alone was enough feast for an entire week of content.
But at the end of the day, the Cowboys did what they always do — choked on the meal served up to them on a platter and gagged away yet another W to an opponent that out-executed them.
The Cowboys took a 17-14 lead to halftime after a late field goal drive and a defensive hold, and Jalen Hurts took a hit to his knee and hobbled into the locker room.
But Philly continued its season-long third quarter dominance, coming out of halftime with two long, efficient TD drives to wrangle a 28-17 lead. The Eagles have outscored opponents 65-17 in the third quarter this season, and their only third-quarter loss came by three in their one loss to the Jets.
Last year, the Eagles dominated second quarters. This year, it's the third.
As the game headed to its final stanza, Dallas had just crossed the 50 but trailed by 11. Up until that point, the game had been relatively ordinary, but all hell was about to break loose.
The Cowboys drove deep into Eagles territory before facing 4th-and-1. They made the questionable decision to run a QB sneak against the team that's spent its entire season practicing against that play, but a review determined that Dak Prescott got the first down, and a penalty put the ball at the seven.
Three plays later, it was fourth down on the one yard line and Dallas decided to go again. The Cowboys were giving Philly a taste of their own medicine, already 3-for-3 on fourth-down conversions. Prescott dropped back and threw to TE Luke Schoonmaker for what looked like a TD, but the rookie ran the route short of the endzone in typical Cowboys fashion and was ruled down inside the one after review.
Turnover on downs, and a microcosm of each team, even with a long way to go.
Schoonmaker was manhandled before making the catch but didn't draw the flag as Philadelphia got a very kind home whistle — for the first 59 minutes, at least. The Cowboys ran another route "short of the sticks" as they often do, and Dallas came up a few inches short.
Of course, the Eagles pretty much never come up short by those few inches. Philadelphia would've scored a TD in that spot, practically a fait accompli. Line 'em up, Tush Push, easy seven points.
I wrote a couple weeks ago how the Eagles are hacking the NFL. Their ability to shorten the field with each new series provides a significant edge. The Eagles are winning because they can execute the Tush Push and you can't. Dallas failed on that drive — twice, if we're being honest — and later failed to convert a key two-point conversion. The Eagles simply line up and push for all those.
The Tush Push continues to be a major advantage for Philadelphia. The Eagles converted one on three of their four TD drives in a key moment. But Dallas can't do that.
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Okay, where were we?
Philadelphia ball, first and 10, inside its own one, 10 minutes left.
The Cowboys defense did its job and held the Eagles to 3-and-out — a common theme, you'll notice — and Dallas got the ball back at midfield, rewarding them for the aggressiveness. Five plays later, the Cowboys scored a TD and lined up to go for two.
Prescott dropped back, took off for the endzone and looked like he made it. But replay overturned another Dallas score, showing Prescott had stepped out short of the goal line. Another fail, by a few inches, and you can blame that one for the blown cover. Those two points would be huge later when Dallas was unable to kick a tying field goal, twice.
Now down five, the Cowboys kick off and the defense holds again. The Eagles go 3-and-out on a second consecutive possession, including a baffling play call on 3rd-and-3 when they threw deep instead of just Tush-Pushing twice for a surefire first down. A punt gave Dallas the ball on its own 26 with five minutes to go and all three timeouts, plenty of time for two drives if necessary — if managed well.
The Cowboys slowly began to matriculate down the field with no sense of urgency whatsoever, a familiar sight to anyone who's watched literally any Mike McCarthy game ever.
Prescott stood tall in the pocket and picked apart the Eagles secondary, like he did all game. Prescott was mostly brilliant, passing for 374 yards and three TDs without a turnover. CeeDee Lamb had another monster game with 191 yards, and Jake Ferguson carved up the middle of the field.
Prescott was the best player on the field and nearly blemish-free — with one important exception.
On first down at the Eagles 31, Prescott dropped back to pass and was sacked by Brandon Graham, then repeated the feat the following down. Suddenly 1st-and-10 became 3rd-and-21 just like that.
Sacks are a QB stat, and they're more damaging than you think. Sacks are worth about a third of an interception in negative EPA. Prescott didn't throw any interceptions, but he did eat five sacks, three in the final three minutes. That's the equivalent of throwing a late interception in the red zone.
The second sack took us to the two-minute warning, giving the Cowboys time to set a plan. Clearly four-down territory, Dallas smartly completed a 13-yard pass to give itself a chance on fourth down. But then, rather than hurrying to the line with a second play ready to go — remember, they just had a timeout and knew they were throwing short of the sticks — the Cowboys casually huddled, then lined up to snap the ball 32 full seconds later.
You already knew this wouldn't end well.
Prescott dialed up a pass to Jalen "Not Lamb or Ferguson?!" Tolbert, who was absolutely manhandled but did not get the whistle. Another turnover on downs, leaving the Cowboys on life support.
Dallas still had all of its timeouts remaining, but a single Philadelphia first down would end it. And yet again, the Cowboys defense did its job, stuffing the Eagles twice.
But suddenly, a miraculous glimmer of hope.
D'Andre Swift took the third-down hand-off and ran into his own teammate, disastrously fumbling on his own 32. Thirty-one other defenses fall on that ball and take advantage of a gift from the football gods — but not the Cowboys.
Rookie third-string Eagles RG Tyler Steen somehow recovered the fumble in his first ever start, because of course he did. Fumbles are supposed to be random, but Philadelphia recovered four of five fumbles on the day.
Dallas never catches the break, even when it does.
The Cowboys are like the final scene in Dumb and Dumber when an entire bus of beautiful, bikini-clad women pull over and ask a hitchhiking Harry and Lloyd if they know any oil boys who can grease them up for their tour.
"You are in LUCK," Harry exclaims with astonishment. "There's a town about three miles that way, I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there."
After Lloyd runs after the ladies to tell them the town is "back that way," the bus drives off once and for all, leaving the guys forlorn and bewildered.
"Don't worry, we'll catch our break too," Harry sighs… "Just gotta keep our eyes open."
The Cowboys are dumb (Prescott) and dumber (McCarthy). They cannot catch a break, even when it's on the ground right in front of them.
But the breaks were just beginning. That fumble was third down, so Dallas would get the ball back one more time after using its final timeout, down five with 46 seconds remaining, on its own 14.
That's when the Cowboys' Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Tour bus showed up for the drive of its life.
On first down, Dallas finally got a whistle, drawing a 36-yard pass interference that took the ball to midfield and sidelined Eagles CB James Bradberry. On the next play, the Cowboys passed for 10 yards and saw Philly's other starting CB Darius Slay go out hurt, then tacked on 15 yards with a a roughing the passer penalty.
Suddenly, Dallas had the ball on the 25 yard line with 32 seconds left against a defense missing its top three corners.
The Cowboys completed another pass to the 11, and then drew another flag that took the ball to the six. Clock now stopped at 27 seconds, Dallas was six yards away from stealing a win in Philadelphia and tying for the NFC 1-seed.
But it's the Cowboys, so Dallas somehow couldn't even get the next snap off in time, giving back the five yards it was just gifted and allowing the injured Slay to return to the field.
But at least with all that extra time the Cowboys must be settled and ready for a big play, right? Wrong again. Prescott ate yet another sack, the one thing he absolutely could not do, losing 11 yards as the clock continued to tick down. Dallas rushed to the line and Prescott chucked the ball out of the endzone, leaving just five seconds.
Prescott took one more delay of game penalty — you can never be sure if you've Cowboys'd quite enough — then threw one final pass short of the goal line, because of course, as Lamb was tackled and the clock hit zeroes.
The game was over, and Dallas had blown it again.
You could not script a more Cowboys ending. It was basically a repeat of every single Cowboys playoff game the last couple decades.
The metrics say Dallas was the better team Sunday.
The Cowboys finished with 114 more yards. They matched Philadelphia in time of possession. Prescott out-threw Hurts, and Dallas held the Eagles' rushing attack to 3.3 yards per carry and one run of 10 yards. The Cowboys defense held Philadelphia to four 3-and-outs, including all three of its final drives.
But none of that mattered, because it wasn't good enough.
The Cowboys lost anyway and now stare into the abyss at 5-3, a chasm between them and the 8-1 Eagles, leaving them squarely on track for another 5- or 6-seed.
Same old Dallas, same as every other season. So close — inches, really — but still so far.
When will they ever catch a break?
On Sunday, it's not that the Cowboys weren't good enough. It's that they actually were — and it didn't matter anyway.
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